Here are a few interview interludes:
On the LEONARDO DiCAPRIO story
"Yeah, I met him at a party two, three months ago, and I asked him if he'd let me hit that,
He's like, 'Tiffany, you're so funny.' I'm like, 'I'm serious.' And then he goes, 'I mean, I'd do it, but …' I was like, 'Come on, wasn't you in a squad? The coochie squad or something?' [Editor's note: DiCaprio was famously a member of the "pussy posse" with pals Tobey Maguire and Kevin Connolly.] I told him, 'My only stipulation: I wanna do it with you as your character in What's Eating Gilbert Grape.' He starts bustin' up laughin'. 'Why?' he asks, and I say, 'Cause I feel like that performance deserves a real reward and that reward is this (gestures at her own body).' He starts goin' into how he got into the role, how he worked with these kids and all this stuff, and I'm just listenin' and listenin', like, 'Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.' I finally go, 'All that's good, I just need to know, When's this gonna happen?'"
On ROSEANNE BARR:
"I don't know if you know El Segundo [a coastal California town near LAX], but if you're black and you're driving through El Segundo, you're going to get pulled over. I used to visit my friend Anna there, and it got to a point where I was calling the police officers by name. One day, we were walking around the neighborhood, and Anna says, 'Oh, Roseanne lives there.' Now, I loved Roseanne, and the next day we walked by, and she was in her yard. I say, 'Hiiii, Roseanne.' She looks at me (makes a disgusted face), and ran in the house. I thought, 'Maybe she don't want to be bothered today.' A week later, we walk by again, and I told Anna — she's Hispanic, but she looks white — she should say hi this time. So she says, 'Hi, Roseanne,' and Roseanne goes, 'Hey!' I thought, 'Maybe she got to know us.' Then I go back, like, a week later, I wave again and say, 'Hi, Roseanne! I love your comedy,' and she (makes the same disgusted face) and turns her head. I think, 'Fuck that bitch.' That was 2000, maybe 2001, so it's not new. She been racist, why'd you all give her a TV show?"
On her perfect day off formwork:
"I'd wake up," she muses, "smoke a little weed, have a sip of vodka, eat some food, go back to sleep, wake up again, turn on some cartoons, take a poop, smoke a little more weed, have some water, go back to sleep."