GOOD FRIDAY to ALL of MY CRAZY COOL GROOVY Family, Friends, Frats, Fans, Followers, Frenemies, and FANTABULICIOUSTICAL FUNKY FRESH FLY FOLK of ALL Colors, Shapes, Sizes, Flavors, Persuasions, and Denominations!!
Whether your preferred terminology is A$$, BACKSIDE, BOOTY, BUTT, CULO, DONK, FATTY, or; any of a number of other euphemisms for the feminine derriere, if you, u, You, U, or, YOU check for CRAZY COOL GROOVY!!! on the regular, then you DO know how Yours Truly CCG feels about the BBWs, FULL-FIGURED FEMME FATALES, PLUS-SIZE PRETTIES, QUEEN SIZE QUEENS, and; VOLUPTUOUS VIXENS among you... and how much Ya Boy LOVES Your BIG BUTT and Your SMILE.
However; CCG is also very aware that there are some some very specific problems that are faced by women with a more bountiful backside.
Check out these #BIGBOOTYPROBLEMS: TOP 15 PROBLEMS ONLY UNDERSTOOD By WOMEN With BIG BUTTS 'Cause #BABYGOTBACK:
MADAME NOIRE says:
PANTS Are TOO DROOPY Or TOO LOW:
The only pants that are small enough on your waist are too small on your butt. So you have to buy pants that are too big everywhere else, just to get them over your butt. You buy a lot of belts.
SKIRTS Are TOO HIGH In The BACK:
Your butt hikes skirts up several inches. You often wonder if you’re flashing people.
SITTING DOWN At PUBLIC ARENAS/MOVIES/CHURCH:
The last available seat is in the middle of the row and there are already people seated every where leading to that seat. You clench your jaw and stick your butt in each of their faces on the way to your seat.
PANTIES That ACTUALLY Are BIGGER Than you:
You’re actually a size small or medium, but you have to wear size XL because… BUTT CHEEKS.
Because of That THANG, many men have HIGH EXPECTATIONS and expect you to be incredible at dancing, and; YOU get a lot of requests for TWERKING.
Just BECAUSE Of That THANG, many men have LOW EXPECTATIONS and A$$UME that YOU are OK with A$$ PLAY.
WOMEN'S HEALTH says:
For REASONS UNKNOWN, You STILL Have A SPIRITUAL CONNECTION To Song, BABY GOT BACK:
What can you say? Back before you learned to embrace your curves, SIR MIX-A-LOT and this anthem gave you hope.
EVERY MORNING, Your BUTT EATS YOUR PANTIES For BREAKFAST, and; RUNNING SHORTS Are A LONG-GONE FANTASY:
There's no delicate way to say it. If you forgo the thong, it's permanent wedgie city.
Unless you are one of those rare women who actually enjoys playing the RIDE-And-TUG GAME (your shorts ride up your butt, and then you tug them down), and; the subsequent chafing,YOU must research other options of attire.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: FINDING A CUTE BIKINI That FITS Your TOP And BOTTOM:
If there isn't a mix-and-match option, forget it. You have to pick between your butt hanging out or super-frumpy granny bottoms.
YOUR BODY Is CONSTANTLY Being COMPARED To FRUIT:
Are you an APPLE shape? Maybe a BANANA shape? Possibly a PEAR? Which FRUIT SHAPE are YOU?
STOOLS Are a JOKE That LIFE INVENTED To CONSTANTLY AGGRAVATE YOU And YOUR BUTT:
Stools were made for children, stupid pet tricks, and; when you don not have an available ladder. Why are they in bars/restaurants? If YOU are lucky, you might be able to fit about half of your butt on the average bar stool.
If you're an adult who still goes on swings, like one-third of your butt will remain on that swing.
If you are a mother, you constantly find yourself have to come up with excuses for why Mommy can't get on the swing... and NONE of the reasons involve the swing.
HUFFINGTON POST: HUFFPOST WOMEN says:
Again, unless you ENJOY the Ride-and-Tug, or; you enjoy ALWAYS looking like you are either on your way to the club on the corner, leaving the club on the corner, OR; just on the corner... leave those types of dresses alone.
LOWER BACK PAIN:
You ALREADY Know.
EVEN When UNINTENDED, YOU Can ALWAYS COUNT On BUTTCRACK EXPOSURE:
See: LOWER BACK PAIN.
Your own BUTT CHEEKS have given you TAN LINES.
MEN GRABBING/SLAPPING YOUR BUTT:
TAKE CARE Of YOURSELVES And EACH OTHER, KNOW/EMBRACE/CELEBRATE/LOVE Your BIG BUTTS And #BIGBOOTYPROBLEMS, And KNOW THYSELVES!!!
PEACE, LOVE, And BEAUTIFUL, BOUNTIFUL BOOTIFUL BLESSINGS;