Sunday, May 10, 2015


Did you, u, You, U, or even YOU know that the month of May is celebrated as INTERNATIONAL MASTURBATION MONTH, and climaxes May 28 - INTERNATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY??
"Good Vibrations began celebrating National Masturbation Month in 1995! Earlier that year, then-Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders was fired for saying that masturbation should be discussed as part of young peoples' sex education. We were astounded. It was one of the most sensible things we'd ever heard a government official say -- and it cost Elders her job!
We started National Masturbation Month -- now International Masturbation Month with people celebrating across the globe! -- to raise awareness and to highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone: it's safe, it's healthy, it's free, it's pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses.
Of all the kinds of sex people can have, masturbation is the most universal and important, yet few people talk about it freely -- worse, many people still feel it is "second best" or problematic in some way. Masturbation Month lets us emphasize how great it is: it's natural, common and fun!"
Just so that you are never without a reason to pleasure yourself, WANK OF THE DAY Journalist CHLOE has endured the countless hours of painstaking research to bring to you a properly alphabetized A - Z LIST Of WANKS.
A – The Anger Wank:

We’ve all been there, a bad day at the office, a friend has pissed you off, you get home to find the cat has puked all over the sofa. You’re annoyed, you’ve had enough. What better way to work of your frustrations than dig out a favourite toy or two and give yourself a couple of shuddering orgasms. It won’t fix your problems, but it will make you feel better about things.
B – The Basic Wank:

Can’t be bothered faffing around with toys, lube, etc.? Take it back to basics; enjoy a session with your fingers and your own natural lubricant. Relive the joy of those first furtive fingerings that you gave yourself so many years ago. Sometimes, less is more.
C – The C*nt Filler:

 Fingers not quite cutting it? Want to feel stretched and full? You remember that mammoth, super-sized dildo you’ve got stashed away for those “need a bit more” situations. Ram it in and feel that delicious fullness.
D – The Danger Wank:

 We all need excitement. The thrill of the risk of being caught adds to the arousal. It’s the wank in public or semi-public places.
E – The Eclectic Wank:

 You want to get off, but can’t quite decide how. Fingers? Toys? Frotting against an inanimate object? All of the aforementioned? It’s the wank where you use every tool in your arsenal to get yourself off.
F – The “F*ck This! I’m Having A Wank” Wank:

 Housework to be done? Ironing to be put away? Washing piling up? You know what, I can’t be arsed, I think I’ll have a wank first.
G – The Gratuitous Wank:

 The one you do in front of your partner because they are failing to meet your needs (can also be combined with The Anger Wank). You’re doing it for you, not for them. You’re having a wank and you don’t care if they know about it; in fact, you want them to know about it.
H – The Happy Wank:

 You’re in a great mood, you may or may not know the reason for this, but you’re sure as hell going to enjoy it. And what better way to make a little happiness go that bit further? 
I – The Insecure Wank:

 First date nerves? Worried about if he will like you? Settle down and settle yourself before you go out with a quick reminder of just why you are fabulous.
J – The Jealous Wank:

 Just seen your ex with their latest partner? Feeling a bit down about it. Cheer yourself up with a reminder of what they are now missing out on: you. Can be combined with the Anger and Insecure wanks.
K – The Killer Wank:

 The kind of wank that leaves you more than just breathless.  You’ve cum so hard and so often that you actually feel like you’ve endangered your very existence.
L – The Learning Wank:

 It’s back to the beginning. It’s the way we learned how we liked to be touched. Thinking back brings back memories of a more “innocent” time.
M – The Mighty Moaner:

 The frustration has been building up. The release is so powerful. You shout your pleasure from the rooftops and you don’t care who hears you (with the possible exception of your parents). Sometimes combined with The Killer Wank.
N – The Normal Wank:

 This is your default wank. The one you fall back on when you haven’t the energy/can’t be arsed with anything else. It’s reliable, you know it works, so why fix it?
O – The OMFG!!! Wank:

 A variation of The Killer Wank and The Mighty Moaner. It produces orgasms so strong you feel like you won’t be able to move for about a week.
P – The Preparation Wank:

 You know you’re going to get a bloody good seeing-to, but you can’t wait to get started, so you have a quick bit of me time to start things moving.
Q – The Quiet Wank:

It’s the middle of the night. You wake up feeling as randy as hell. Beside you, your partner is sleeping soundly, snoring and drooling into their pillow. It would be a shame to wake them. So, quietly does it, trying hard not to disturb them as you wank yourself back to sleep.
R – The Rushed Wank:

 You’ve got some place to be. You’re meeting a friend for a drink. It’s taken you forever to get ready and if you don’t hurry up, you will definitely be late. One small snag, you’re randy. 
S – The Sensual Wank:

 You have all the time in the world, so take it slowly. Use your favourite body oils and creams. Take time to ensure every inch of you tingles. Savour it. Wallow in it. Enjoy it.
T – The Toy Wank:

 You want to feel full, you want to feel something thrust deep inside you. You want your c*nt to squeeze and grip hard on something as you cum.  It’s time for toys. The C*nt Filler is a subset of this wank.
U – The Unexpected Wank:

You hadn’t planned to have one; you weren’t even aware that you were particularly randy. Suddenly, midway through EMPIRE, or SCANDAL, you unexpectedly find yourself with your fingers in your panties.
V – The Variety Wank:

 Similar in a way to The Eclectic Wank, but this time the variety is deliberate. You’ve carefully chosen out what toys you are going to use, the lube to apply and you’ve got it all worked out in advance so that you use them all.
W – The Watching Wank:

 Whether it’s you watching your partner or your partner watching you, or maybe you’re simultaneously watching each other, having an audience can make the experience even more intimate. Can be combined with just about every other wank described in this post.
X – The X-Rated Wank:

 This is the wank that you do deliberately for your partner. Sometimes also known as the Exhibitionist Wank. You are putting on a show. Your self-pleasure is as much for their arousal as it is for your own enjoyment.
Y – The “You Touch Me” Wank:

 Wanking is not a solitary experience. Having a partner bring you off with their fingers, or you doing it to them can be a deeply intense sexual experience.
Z – The ZUMBA Wank:

I’m cheating here because I can’t think of anything beginning with Z. Do you Zumba? Do you have a hot Zumba instructor? Enjoy a good Pre-and-Post-Zumba Wank.
ATLien HIP HOP Girl Group TLC even recorded a song and video, TOUCH MYSELF, dedicated to this touchy topic.


1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm so glad you liked it.

    Chloë (Wank Of The Day)



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